You want out. Here's the best and healthiest way to break up with someone. How do you break up without making someone miserable -- or making them hate you forever? There’s a difference between excitement and desperation. Hear them out without getting defensive or counterattacking. Occasionally wondering whether you should stay together or break up is just part of being in a relationship for most people. We asked Niloo Dardashti, a relationship coach and workplace psychologist in New York, for advice on how to break up with someone you love. Staying with them isn’t the right decision. When you're wondering how to break up with someone, try to keep honesty and openness at the center of the conversation. After you break contact and invest in yourself, don’t pressure yourself to meet someone new until you’re legitimately excited to do it. Just because you’re scared to break up with them, doesn’t mean you should torture them. It’s harder to break up if you keep focusing on the one moment you were happy. It's never easy, but you can make it less painful Ending a relationship is difficult, even if you're the one doing the dumping. You know that this isn’t what you want, but you don’t want to see them hurt. Whatever the reason, ending things when you still care deeply about your partner is no easy task. Now you're just not feeling it anymore. Don't stress-- that's not good for you. But first, here's what NOT to do: Don't tell your friends before you break up. Make sure breaking up is what you … 3. Before you end the relationship, it’s important that you are sure of your decision. Fall out of love in your mind first. Breaking up with someone is never enjoyable, especially if you love them. But when you have truly looked at your relationship and tried everything you can to fix the parts of it that aren’t working out for you, then it’s time to prioritize your happiness. It is difficult enough to break up with someone because you had enough of them. The first thing you need to do is find out why you're feeling guilty. Loving someone can be the most enlightening and spectacular feeling when things go well. So if you’re unsure how you can properly break up with someone who loves you, we’ve prepared this step-by-step guide just for you. 1) Talk about trying to reconcile the relationship first. When you first started dating, you were so into your boyfriend/girlfriend. There are a few different reasons you might feel guilty after breaking up with someone: You feel bad about ending things because the other person didn't want to break up. Before the Breakup 1. But, worse, is breaking up with someone you love. Breaking up with someone you love feels like your heart will break forever. Most people who commit to a long-term relationship feel positive about their chances of staying with their partner. 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